March 1999

Thursday, 3-4-99
Hrm well, I just wanted to update this page, so yeah, I don't know what to write about. I'm talking to Jason on the phone =))))) *Beams* Anyhow, life has been okay, tiring though. Way too much school work, but I'm almost all caught up, and then next week I have Spring Break.. *yay* :)

Thursday, 3-18-99
I really need a life. That's the first thing I have to say. I was just thinking, you know, I never really have anything to write about. I mean yeah, stuff is going on in my life, but it's never anything *fun* anymore. I guess I might as well get used to it. I mean hell, my life has been this way for quite awhile already, and well.. With the baby coming soon and all, it'll be like that forever. In a lot of ways. All this time I've stayed away from partying for the most part, and have behaved myself.. leading such a boring life. And now I will have no choice. Suddenly I must grow up, and it's like.. I've sort of been doing that all along, but it's much different to know I *have* to. I don't really regret it though. I'm happy with my life. I just am starting to think having a diary is rather stupid. :) I'm sure no one wants to read about how nothing goes on in my life. Oh well. You don't have to read it. :)

Didn't have class today, obviously. I mean it's Thursday. But I did have to go to the school to turn in an essay for English class. Fun stuff, not. I also discussed with them the stuff for my financial aid loan. *Yay* As soon as that's finalized, I will have debts. Scary thought. Here goes my life. *Grin* Oh well not a big deal. I'll deal with the shit in my life as it comes. 5 weeks left. Well, until my due date. I can't really predict when I'll have the baby. I feel *huge*. :) It's not really so bad though, I mean, I'm pregnant, it's normal. I accept it. Labor scares me.. But, I'll survive that as well. All I have to do is get through it, and then that fear will be behind me. So yeah, I'll survive. ;) After that, I'll have to adapt to motherhood. Should be interesting at any rate. I'm nervous in some ways, I mean, hell, I've never been a mom! :) But again, I know I'll make it through it, and I'll do the best I can possibly do. I have faith in myself. It's really a new feeling...

Had spring break last week. Didn't do much of anything. Of course. :) Not that I usually do much anyhow. :) I just relaxed and enjoyed not having to go to class and do school work. This week, went to English on Monday. After having a week off, it was much more difficult to get myself to go to class. I guess I still have some of that 'I want to skip' attitude left in me from high school. It's something I have to fight constantly. But I will *not* let myself go through that again. I have to make something of myself. I have to become something. So yeah, that was that. I don't even remember what I did Tuesday. Did I do anything? I can't remember. Wednesday (yesterday) I had English, in which we were assigned the essay that I had to turn in today. And then I went to Psych later on, and we got our tests back. I did much better on this one than I did on the first one. I only missed 4 questions on this one. And then we got our papers back. Mine was on erotomania. Well, he told us we all did horrid. I got 17/25. He told me what needs revised on it, and then I can fix it and turn in it to get a better grade. So that rocks. Today I went to the school as I said, and turned in my essay and discussed financial aid stuff. Then I went with Mom to work, and basically sat there for an hour or so. Then we went by McDonalds so I could get chicken nuggets, which I was *craving*. Yum :) Then we came home. Such an exciting life isn't it?

Friends... Do I have those? Oh yeah, I *do* have a few of those *grin* I ran into Erin the one day when Mom and I saw her driving and we stopped and talked with her. Then over the weekend, last weekend, I believe, she called wanting to know if I wanted to go with her to get her oil changed. Can't think of a damn better way to spend a Saturday morning (or was it Sunday?) can you? :) So we went, and then we went to her house. After getting Taylor and stuff, we went out to the goat farm (Yay) and Brett was there, and so was Kurt. I hadn't seen him in forever. Anyhow, we visited with them and Barb for awhile, and then left to go get food from Subway. They *really* screwed up our order... *grumble* Then she brought me home. The excitment of it all. Also, one day or another, though I can't remember for the life of me when, Destiny, Jenny, Pat, Josh, and Kalob came over. Was interesting. I guess shortly after, Destiny moved to Georgia to go live with Cody *Shock* Also, Jenny is pregnant again *SHOCK*. Life is weird that way though, right? And stuff around this town is really weird. That's probably part of why I don't pay much attention to it. Who else have I seen lately? Jennifer has stopped by a couple of times. I don't know what's up with her though really... I mean, we haven't had much of a chance to actually talk. *Shrug*

I had a doctors appointment on the 9th... That went fine. I gained 3 1/2 lbs *beams* That makes me so happy. Since I've hardly gained any weight.. 13 1/2 lbs now. Oh well, such is life. I have my next appointment on Tuesday, and then after that I'll have doctors appointments weekly. Sheesh, this is creeping up on me..!@^%@$ I've been filling out welfare and WIC and etc forms lately... That should all be interesting too. I have to get this stuff done though, time is just sorta flying by, so I best not put it off! I had lamaze not last Saturday but the Saturday before.. (did I mention that yet?) and I have it again on this coming Saturday. Lamaze class... *laughs* Some of this is still pretty hard to believe.

I still talk to Jason all the time, of course. He's such a sweetheart *smiles* I talk to him daily, at least, if not more. :) What would I do without him?! :) *laugh* Anyhow--enough rambling ;) I think I've written enough about absolutely nothing. Right? Right. @&^%@#

Saturday, 3-27-99
Well it's about 4 am, and I don't know why I'm awake... I haven't yet gone to bed.. anyhow.. Life is going okay I suppose, I'm pretty tired though. Jennifer came by a couple of hours ago with a friend of hers.. she likes to show up at the weirdest times. ;p Still good to see her though. Had lamaze last Saturday, which went fine.. Doctors appointment on Tuesday which went fine also. Penny was nice enough to give me a ride. :) I even gained like 3 and a half more pounds.. *woo* =) I weighed 131 i think.. yay me. :p Class hasn't been all that amazing this last week so not a whole lot to say about that. Mom was out of town all week, and she's home now.. uhm.. yeah, my life is basically boring. Anyhow, I should sleep.


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