Tuesday, 2-2-99
Okay, new month. Woo. ;) In a way that kind of sucks
because it puts me closer and closer to the time I'm gonna be in mass pain..
eek! ;) But that's okay, I'll survive. :) Things are going alright, as usual.
:p School is going okay.. Got a test in Psych tomorrow, and an essay due in
English on Friday, and I have yet to figure out what to write it on!@# Help!@^@
I've seen gundam a couple of more times at school.. He likes to pick on me for
being an 'EFnet user'. I saw Chris Baker over the weekend, which was
interesting. I haven't seen him forever. I saw him on Friday, him and Pat
West, since they apparently have a class in the same room as my English class,
right before my class. Pat apparently saw me, but didn't say hi :/ Chris
didn't see me. Monday, Pat was there, and he saw me, and started picking on me
about being pregnant and what not. ;) It was kind of funny. What else has been
going on? Oh! Jen Case called me Friday, right before I went to class. I
talked to her again after class, and then she came over. That was really
strange, considering, I haven't seen her in like, 3 years, let alone even talked
to her really. And the last time I saw her I punched her.. bleh.. but it worked
out okay, and it was pretty neat seeing her, and her son and daughter, Austin
and Liberty. Austin is almost 2 years old, and Liberty is 3 months. I saw her
Mom again, and her step-dad, and what not, and we did a lot of talking about all
the stuff she missed, like with Chris, and other random people she knew when she
still lived here. She filled me in on all the stuff going on in her life, etc.
Erin and Jen and I went out Saturday night, and just kind of hung out, and
picked on guys and random stuff, it was pretty cool. Saw Brett Trego, and Steph
Warren, and Jason Petrowski (sp), and this Chris and Dell guy Erin and I cannot
stand. Joy to the world on that one. But we had fun. Jen left to go back to
Great Falls on Monday while I was at class. Hrm what else.. lala *thinks* I've
been talking to Jason as usual ;) Cause he rocks ;) *Smewches Jason* And uhm..
not a whole hell of a lot else has been going on.. Boring life I tell you :D
Saturday, 2-6-99
Hrm, I think I'm like half asleep right now, but that's
okay. It's like 2 pm though, which is the sad part. :)
Woops, I forgot
to finish writing. ;) It's about 3:30 right now, and I'm pretty bored, but
that's usual for me. :) I never took my Psych test because Tuesday night we had
this bad wind storm :p The wind was like 75 mph and apparently removed parts of
my schools roof. ;) So school was cancelled on Wednesday. Friday I had to turn
in my essay for English, which I was up most of the night before working on.
Bleh, it sucked. But oh well. I didn't go with Erin to Butte on Thursday, and
apparently Porter was bitching about it. :) He says we must go there sometime
soon to see him, but like, he scares me, and stuff. I'm surprised he even
remembers me, I haven't seen him or talked to him since almost a year ago. Sad
stuff. Oh well, his loss, not mine. I don't really care.. isn't that nice? :p
Ric came in town last night, so he's around, only, he went snowboarding today or
something. Hrm I have such an interesting life. I really have nothing to write
about! Lets see, my step step grandfather? (My stepdads stepdad) died during
this week, so that sucks. He was a pretty cool guy, though I didn't know him
too well. Mom's going out of town tomorrow morning, and she'll be gone for 2
weeks. She's going to Canada, and this time I can't go with her because I have
school :( But of course, that means I have no way to class for the next two
weeks, and Jerry won't be around. So that sucks badly. I dunno, I'll have to
figure something out :/ Danielle is moving soon too, though I don't know when
just yet.. So she probably won't be able to help, and even if she is around,
she'll probably only be able to take me to Psych on Wednesday nights, since
she's still working. Bleh, I'm just bitching. I'm good at it though :) I
have a doctors appointment on the 19th I believe, and Mom probably won't be home
yet at the time of the appointment, so I'll have to figure out something for
*that* as well. And she wont' be there with me, so that sucks. Maybe Erin
would be interested in taking me, I dunno though, she's got her hands full with
Taylor most of the time. Bleh bleh bleh. :) I can't think of anything else to
write about at the moment, so I'm just going to shut up and go now. :)
Thursday, 2-11-99
Woi. Mom's out of town, in Edmonton, and I couldn't
go this time :( Cause I have school :(
Friday, 2-12-99
Someday maybe I'll finish writing when I first start
writing ;) Hrm.. Anyhow, Mom's in Edmonton as I said.. Monday I had to take a
cab to school, which sucked, and walk home, which sucked even worse, and get
caught by a train which sucked even more. :) Tuesday I didn't do much of
anything, and then Wednesday, Erin gave me a ride to my English class, I walked
home, and then Danielle gave me a ride to and from my Psych class. Which I had
to take my test, which went okay, I think. Then we were studying drugs.. Was
interesting at any rate. Thursday (yesterday) I again didn't really do
anything. Pat Woofter called and woke me up, and then later on Rhiannon and
Erin stopped by, which surprised me. But was cool. Not a whole lot else,
talked to Jason, talked to Rich, etc etc.. Jason rocks ;) Anyhow, then today, I
was supposed to go to English, but uhm.. I couldn't seem to wake myself up and I
felt like shit, and the next thing I knew it was way after my class was over =/
So that sucks badly. I'll have to make sure I find rides next week.. *Sigh*
And GO too. :p
Monday, 2-15-99
Well, Saturday night, Erin and Rhiannon came by.
Rhiannon called Dan and they got into a huge fight, and she was soo upset, it
sucked. So we went out, and talked with some guys and other people we knew for
awhile, and then Rhiannon went and stayed at Erin's house. She didn't want to
go home and face Dan. She asked me, "Paige, how did you put up with it for
so long?"
Kind of got me thinking, about everything in the past.
How did I put up with it so long? ;) Heh, and it's like, I don't love Chris
anymore, not in that way, and I don't want to be with him. But the past can
still hurt a lot. Doesn't bother me often, most of the time I can laugh about
it, but watching my friends go through the same shit, and thinking about it all
myself.. I dunno, I was up all night talking with Luis on IRC about all kinds
of shit, about Chris and other relationships, etc. I felt like I was half about
to cry the whole time, but I didn't. Sometimes life seems so helpless. I've
been so stressed out lately. I guess it's the hormones, and the stress, and
everything else.
I dunno, maybe I'm just losing my mind ;) That could
be it. :p I can't even figure out how to express my feelings at this point..
I've had so much on my mind lately, Mike, the baby, school, the future.. Nothing
is certain, and I feel like I have no control over anything. It scares the shit
out of me, and I don't know what to do. I still haven't gotten ahold of Mike..
His mom told me last week she'd try to get ahold of him, and have him call me,
but I haven't heard from him. I don't know when I will, hell, at this point, I
don't even know if I will. I don't know what to do about the bills.. I might
just use my college money. Then what do I do about school? *Shakes head* It's
like, I realize that I can't rely on anyone, really, for much of anything, I
can't *count* on something.
Unfortunately, sometimes it doesn't feel
like I have all that much with *me* I can rely on. But I know that I will do
whatever it takes.. I'll make it through it. I always do ;) And the baby is
definitely worth it :) 2 months to go.. I feel like I'm getting huge. :) Oh
well, that's part of pregnancy. Got a doctors appiontment next Tuesday (not
tomorrow) Hopefully I've gained weight, I mean hell, I've gotten lots bigger.
:p
Mom's still out of town, she won't be back until next weekend, she
said maybe even not until Sunday. So that's fine I guess, I'll have to find
rides to class Wednesday and Friday of course. I didn't have class today, no
school cause of Presidents Day. I've missed 3 days now, so that's not good..
I gotta try to make it more often. I haven't been feeling great lately though..
Just kind of a sick feeling, and tired.. really tired. So all I want to do is
lay around and sleep, for the most part. But, I do have my priorities, and
that isn't one of them, heh.
My Dad called today, saying he wants
pictures of me. Like, recent ones. Ones of me pregnant. Damnit, I have
avoided having any picutres of me taken all of this time :p Made a great excuse
for not having any online *grin* But he told me to have someone take some of me
adn to send them to him, so who knows, maybe I'll have pregnant Paige pics
soon.. What a scary thought. Oh well, people see me in person pregnant all the
time, so what does it matter.
Anyhow, I can't even think of what to
write, so I guess I'm going to go.. Later.
Tuesday, 2-16-99
Today was a very slow day. I basically did nothing ;p
I got class tomorrow, English and Psych, that should be fun.. not.. I'm probably
going to take a cab to English tomorrow, walk home, and then Danielle should be
giving me a ride to and from Psych.. I hope :) Otherwise, that would suck. :)
Mom isn't going to be home until Sunday, which is starting to suck pretty badly
;) Oh well, such is life, right? :) I am so completely tired these days, all I
wanna do is sleep. I fell asleep for a couple of hours tonight without meaning
to.. So much fun, not. I hope I can make it through class even! :) Anyhow,
nothing to write about. :)
Friday, 2-26-99
*Sigh* I've been pretty busy lately, with trying to get
things done for classes and what not. Had an essay due for English today,
which, yes, I did get done, but I'm not sure I did very well on it. =/ Oh well.
Then I have a test in Psych on Wednesday, and a project due on a study on
erotomania and it's connection with violence. Doesn't that sound interesting?
:p I haven't even *started* on that. And my notebook is due next week in
English as well. Too much fun. =) Haven't been up to a whole lot otherwise.
Mom's been mad at me a lot again, and we've been arguing. =/ So that sucks. I
had a doctors appointment on Tuesday (the 23rd). That went okay, nothing major
to report on it. I only gained a pound and a half though in that month. My
next appointment is in two weeks, well, not two weeks now. :p But she told me I
best gain 2 lbs in those two weeks.. yay.. After that i'll have another
appointment in 2 weeks and then I'll have them weekly. I can hardly wait.. ;)
I signed up for lamaze classes too.. Mom and I had to do them on two Saturday's
though, instead of the weekly classes, because she's out of town so much. And
she has to work and all that. I have my first class on Saturday, March 6th.
And then I have the next one two weeks after that. I also have two other times
I have to go in, on Tuesdays, to talk with someone and to go through basic child
care stuff.. But Mom doesn't need to be there for those. So that should be
interesting. I feel like the more I get tired, the more stuff I have to do. I
just wanna sleep!@ What else is new? I talk to Jason a lot, *as usual* ;) He
sent me flowers@! ;) He's such a sweetheart. :) *beams* Other than
that--well.. I have no life. So I guess there's nothing else to say really!@ =)
*laugh*
Sunday, 2-28-99
Well, it's only about 3 am.. So it's barely Sunday. I'm
just about to go to bed. Yesterday (Saturday) was an okay day, pretty slow
though. Didn't do a whole lot. Went to Walmart and the bank with Shawn, and
then last night Mom, Shawn, Michelle, Ben and I went out to get food. Ran into
Jenny's aunt there. We had fun. Ran into Jeff at Noon's last night. He showed
up here about 1 this morning really high, and was talking with my mom about it.
She called his house to inform them. Was interesting. Heh. Didn't get to talk
to Jason hardly at all :( I guess he went out tonight or something. I dunno,
just know he's not around. Oh well, bed time. Night.
Go on to read March 1999
Or Return to
Paige's Diary