Monday, 9/1/97
Well life is pretty crazy sometimes. I don't know how I
exactly feel about much of anything right now. I'm so confused.. I should have written earlier about all my confusions pertaining to Chris. But I didn't, because I was out having fun and having a life. Jeff and Todd called me on Monday, August 25th. They invited me out to Chris' and Jeff's apartment. I told them that I could not go because I did not want to see Chris. But they managed to talk me into it. Meanwhile Chris was out with Laura.. which hurt. A lot. But I was hoping he'd stay out with her and not come home. So Jeff came
and picked me up and we went to the apartment. Then we drove out to pick up this Wendy girl and then we stopped by Chris' parents house to talk to Chris' little brother Bill. It sucked. I had talked to Rhiannon earlier and she had told me that Chris told Laura not to come by the apartment that night because I would be there. Which was bad because rumor had it that Laura and Chris were
back together. When we stopped at Chris' parents house, Laura, Steph, Rhi, and Tanson pulled in behind us. (ugh) and then Dan, Chad, and Brad pulled in behind them (ugh again) Rhiannon told me that Chris had told Laura that he wasn't going to his own apartment that night because he didn't want to see me. This kind of made me happy, since I though I wouldn't have to see him.. but it kind
of hurt too. Anywayz, we went back to the apartment and Chris showed up with his cousin Mike like an hour later. And Chris tried to talk to me all night. And I would barely look at him. He kept telling me how he loved me so much and he'd pull me near him and try to hold me and I just couldn't let him do it. I couldn't. It scared me. Eventually I went to sleep and I spent 3 days with
him. I had a great time. Except the last night I was there, Laura showed up with these 2 big huge guys and they wanted to fight and Chris was all mad and was really upset about everything Laura's done to him and it hurt a lot because he loves her =( So I dunno what's going on with that. Chris called me yesterday and just told me that he was going to Big Timber with his family and that he'd be back in a few days. I asked him if him and Laura were back together and he said no. *sigh* Other than that his cousin Justin and Jeff invited me over. I went out with Jenny, Steve, Brandi, Luke, and Josh the night before last night. It was an interesting night, although I wasn't exactly feeling too well. It's a long story I'm not gonna get into. Last night I didn't go anywhere although I had offers to go out. I just felt really sick still.. *sigh* and today.. I dunno what I'm going to do =)
Saturday, 9/6/97
Well life is really crazy now. I don't know what to
think, how to feel, but I guess I'm hurt, mad, sad, and I feel empty. Chris has *another* new girlfriend. So much for all that bullshit he was telling me while I was at his house. *blah*. I wrote him a letter.. mailed it yesterday to his house.. he isn't gonna like it. I mean it, but at the same time, I don't want any of what I wrote.. i dunno.. it says...
Chris, 9/5/97 Basically I'm just writing this letter to let you know I'm sick of it. All of it. All of your little games. You've been messing with my mind for the last two years and I've been stupid enough to be your fool. I don't know how I managed to fall in love with you, because you aren't worthy of my love. Honestly, if I look at you now I don't see a damn thing I love. You are not the same guy I fell in love with. Either that guy never existed, or you have changed. Regardless of which one, you aren't worth my time. So good-bye, it's over, have a great life. And please stay out of mine. Thanks. Sincerely, Paige L. Mandera
I love him more than life itself, but it's over. Other than that, I passed my pretest for my GED with flying colors so I go to take the real one soon which is 8hours long *ick* and I should be getting my license soon.. anywayz.. bye ;)
Monday, 9/29/97
Hrm you know I am *really* lazy when it comes to updating my page. I'm just sitting here talking to Kraig on the fone and I decided that i needed to update my webpage and like.. here I am. My life is *so* confusing.. me and Chris stopped talking but now he's back around even though he's going out with some girl named Jen and stuff and she doesn't like me and wants to kick my ass and stuff but he's been at my house every day for the last week or so telling me that he still loves me and wants to be with me and kissing my ass basically. I really love him a lot but I'm not sure what to do because he just has fucked me over so many times. I'm all confused and stuff. I've been spending more time with Brandi, Jenny, Jennifer, Josh, Luke, Steve, and Kalob lately. It's been lots of fun.. Oh yah and Casey too. Casey moved into his new house but his wife still hates me so it sucks cause I can't go visit him.=/ I wish she's just get over it. Um.. lets see... what else can I talk about? I'm taking my GED test next week on Tuesday, it's going to suck big time but I guess I have to do it. At least then I"ll have *some* sort of
an education. Woo go me. Um.. that's all I can think of to write right now other than the fact that Billy came over with Chris the other night and he's such a cutie and he's gotten tall.. hehe.. and um... I love Chris still which sucks =(
Go on to read October 1997
Or Return to
Paige's Diary
