June 1998

Monday, 6-1-98
Well life is okay. I've been fairly depressed lately. I don't know why. I think it's because of all this stuff with Chris. It's such a battle between my head, and my heart. I know in my mind that the right thing is to stay away from him, it would prevent so much heartache, and it would probably be better for him as well. My heart wants to go back, it's so painful to get away. What to do, what to do. I think I at least need to be away for quite some time, if not forever. I wish he'd understand this, and accept it. It hurts so much to keep pushing him away... His mother called me yesterday. She wanted to tell me that she heard that I was spreading rumors that Kasie had been drinking, trying to kill her baby. I have heard nothing of the sort, nor have I told anyone that. She said that *she* herself told Chris that, as a mind game I suppose. Playing mind games with ones own children? Struck me as odd, then again, nothing much surprises me anymore. Regardless, let it here be known, Kasie has not been drinking!%$#! (Like it matters to me in the least) I've decided I don't care anymore, I won't let myself care. What happens with Kasie and Chris doesn't involve me in the least, so I won't worry. I do worry, of course, for Chris' sake, but there's no point in it. I just hope all works out well for the both of them, and leave it at that. Enough rambling =)

Friday, 6-12-98
Hrm.. I'm a bit behind on updating my page.. Hehe ;) I'm normally a bit behind though. Life has been okay. I am no longer sick, I talked to the doctors :))) He said he has no clue what was wrong with me, but they believe it was a viral infection of some sort, though it's unknown what kind, and it is now gone. So.. no more sickness, and no more blood tests! Woi :D So anyhow, what else is new? Things are not going great with me and Chris, especially last night.. We had a pretty serious pretty unfun conversation. He said some things I view as selfish and I believe he had no business saying. I can't believe he'd throw some of that stuff at me =/ But I will deal with it, as I do with all other things. It's really hard though.. and it makes me feel like shit. =/

I went to Billings with my mom last weekend. It was fun. I had to work with the DOT people to help judge and work at this truck driving championships thing. It was pretty neat.. :) I've also been out wif Casey and Travis once or twice, which was neat. Um... *thinking* I dunno.. life is boring :( Jennifer's birfday is this weekend, so I might go see her for that, but also a friend of mine is in town for the weekend (or will be tonight) so I dunno. We'll see. Anyhow :D bye

Saturday, 6-20-98
Lazy? Maybe ;) Anyhow, life is going pretty good. =)) Mike (sps) came into town Friday night (the 12th) and stayed until Tuesday. It was lots of fun, he's an awesome guy, and I hope to see him again soon. =) This is the second time he's come to see me, and he finally got to meet my mom, brothers, girls I baby sit for, and what not.. I think he enjoyed himself ;p (I hope:) Other than that, I went to Butte yesterday with Erin, which was neat, we went to go take her friend home. And then he came back anyway. And then he got stuck in Helena, so we had to find him a ride back to Butte.. :) Her friend, Aaron (Sp?) Seems pretty cool :) He gave me his picture, woi ;) Anyhow, nothing new really.

Saturday, 6-27-98
Life is.. weird. Gram is in town, she arrived on Tuesday (the 23rd). Dad, Annette (Dad's girlfriend), and Grandma arrived yesterday (Friday). Dad and Annette, and Grandma will be here until Tuesday, the 30th, and Gram will be here until Thursday, the 2nd. I believe Mike is coming back into town on the 2nd as well! :)) Whee ;) Chris, I guess he got in town last night... *Sigh* I don't know what to say about that. He came over, gave me a rose.. left, then called, said he might stop by.. so we'll see. Today we're having a party, to celebrate the fact that my brother Shawn *isn't* getting married. I had to make a cake last night. Life is interesting, to say the least...


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