Monday, 6-1-98
Well life is okay. I've been fairly depressed
lately. I don't know why. I think it's because of all this stuff with Chris.
It's such a battle between my head, and my heart. I know in my mind that the
right thing is to stay away from him, it would prevent so much heartache, and it
would probably be better for him as well. My heart wants to go back, it's so
painful to get away. What to do, what to do. I think I at least need to be
away for quite some time, if not forever. I wish he'd understand this, and
accept it. It hurts so much to keep pushing him away... His mother called me
yesterday. She wanted to tell me that she heard that I was spreading rumors
that Kasie had been drinking, trying to kill her baby. I have heard nothing of
the sort, nor have I told anyone that. She said that *she* herself told Chris
that, as a mind game I suppose. Playing mind games with ones own children?
Struck me as odd, then again, nothing much surprises me anymore. Regardless,
let it here be known, Kasie has not been drinking!%$#! (Like it matters to me
in the least) I've decided I don't care anymore, I won't let myself care. What
happens with Kasie and Chris doesn't involve me in the least, so I won't worry.
I do worry, of course, for Chris' sake, but there's no point in it. I just hope
all works out well for the both of them, and leave it at that. Enough rambling
=)
Friday, 6-12-98
Hrm.. I'm a bit behind on updating my page.. Hehe ;)
I'm normally a bit behind though. Life has been okay. I am no longer sick, I
talked to the doctors :))) He said he has no clue what was wrong with me, but
they believe it was a viral infection of some sort, though it's unknown what
kind, and it is now gone. So.. no more sickness, and no more blood tests! Woi
:D So anyhow, what else is new? Things are not going great with me and Chris,
especially last night.. We had a pretty serious pretty unfun conversation. He
said some things I view as selfish and I believe he had no business saying. I
can't believe he'd throw some of that stuff at me =/ But I will deal with it,
as I do with all other things. It's really hard though.. and it makes me feel
like shit. =/
I went to Billings with my mom last weekend. It was
fun. I had to work with the DOT people to help judge and work at this truck
driving championships thing. It was pretty neat.. :) I've also been out wif
Casey and Travis once or twice, which was neat. Um... *thinking* I dunno..
life is boring :( Jennifer's birfday is this weekend, so I might go see her for
that, but also a friend of mine is in town for the weekend (or will be tonight)
so I dunno. We'll see. Anyhow :D bye
Saturday, 6-20-98
Lazy? Maybe ;) Anyhow, life is going pretty
good. =)) Mike (sps) came into town Friday night (the 12th) and stayed until
Tuesday. It was lots of fun, he's an awesome guy, and I hope to see him again
soon. =) This is the second time he's come to see me, and he finally got to
meet my mom, brothers, girls I baby sit for, and what not.. I think he enjoyed
himself ;p (I hope:) Other than that, I went to Butte yesterday with Erin,
which was neat, we went to go take her friend home. And then he came back
anyway. And then he got stuck in Helena, so we had to find him a ride back to
Butte.. :) Her friend, Aaron (Sp?) Seems pretty cool :) He gave me his
picture, woi ;) Anyhow, nothing new really.
Saturday, 6-27-98
Life is.. weird. Gram is in town, she arrived on
Tuesday (the 23rd). Dad, Annette (Dad's girlfriend), and Grandma arrived
yesterday (Friday). Dad and Annette, and Grandma will be here until Tuesday,
the 30th, and Gram will be here until Thursday, the 2nd. I believe Mike is
coming back into town on the 2nd as well! :)) Whee ;) Chris, I guess he got in
town last night... *Sigh* I don't know what to say about that. He came over,
gave me a rose.. left, then called, said he might stop by.. so we'll see. Today
we're having a party, to celebrate the fact that my brother Shawn *isn't*
getting married. I had to make a cake last night. Life is interesting, to say
the least...
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