Monday, 7-7-97
I haven't written in awhile cause I've been busy. I
really don't want to give you day by day detail about all that's happened since the 23'rd, cause there is a *lot* So I'll just give you a good idea. Chris and
I managed to break up again after that. Like the next day actually. And then I started going on drag every night with his friends, although he stopped going there. And then I would go out with his friends every night and I started seeing Kurt. It's one of Chris' and mine friends. Well I came home the morning after me and Kurt started seeing each other, and Chris was at my house... So I came in and he said he'd been there for about 6 hours waiting for me, cause he wanted to talk to me. He told me he loved me and kissed me and I said "Chris, we need to talk" He said he didn't have time, and the reason he hadn't been around much was cause his truck broke down, and his mom was on her way to come get him from my house. I told him we needed to talk anyway. So I told him about Kurt. And boy did he get pissed off. So he left. And I felt really really really really bad. So the next day I went back over to Brandon's and spent the day with Kurt. Things were going well and all, and then Kurt, Chavez and me left. When we came back Chris was there. He didn't seem to happy to see Kurt and me walk in together. Well then Chris left and Kurt and I were sitting on the couch, he had his arm around me, and i had my hand on his leg. And then Chris walked in. The look on his face wasn't all that great, and he turned around and walked out. *Sigh* I had told Kurt when we got together that I'm in
love with Chris and that I'd probably end up leaving him for Chris, and that I didn't want to hurt him. Kurt told me that he understood, but wanted to try anyway. Soo... he kind of gave me my space after that to think. Then Steve Lindsay pissed me off. I didn't find out until later though. He came in.. stood there a minute, and then left. Came back with McDonald's food (went there with Chris, but Chris refused to come back in the house). I found out later that Chris had asked Steve to come ask me to go to McDonalds with them, but Steve never asked. Steve then told Chris that he asked me and I said "Hell no" and he said "But Chris only wants to talk to you Paige" and said that I said "I don't give a fuck" *ouch* That never happened :/ I had to baby sit that night, and when I got home I found a letter from Chris. It pretty much said that seeing me with Kurt killed him, and that he was sorry for all he's done to hurt me in the past, and now he knows how I felt seeing him with other girls, and that he'll always love me, and to please call him after
10. So I did, and we talked and talked. The next day I was back over with Kurt, and I was really distant from him. Then I baby sat that night again, and Chris called me and then him and Chet showed up. Chris and I stepped outside to talk and he kissed me... which made me feel guilty cause of Kurt. (talk about a lot of guilty concience on my part..) So then the next day I spent with Chris, and the next day too. I felt so bad and *knew* i needed to talk to Kurt, but wasn't sure how to do it. Then Chris and I stopped by Brandon's.. :/ Kurt was there along with everyone else.. and they all just looked at me and shook their heads. I just left. I couldn't take it. You'd think my *friends* would be
able to understand how I feel somewhat you know? So then I spent hte next few days with Chris.. we went to the movies, went swimming at the lake, went to Lincoln, went here, and there.. did this and that. And then the night before last night, I called Kurt, and told him I was sorry about everything. He said he understood and just told me to be careful. Then we went down on drag, and I found out everyone wasn't mad at me, they just hope that things don't go wrong with me and Chris again. So now Chris is out at his mom's.. he stayed there last night.. it's only 4:30 am so I can't wait until I see him.. I love him a lot. I hope so much that things work this time...
Monday, 7-7-97
Ok it's awhile later.. actually like almost midnight.
Anyway, Chris *did* break his jaw :/ And he is getting it wired shut tomorrow around 1 pm. Then he won't be able to eat anything but liquids for 2 months. And I can't even kiss the guy *Sniff* This sucks. I am really worried about him too. They said they are going to pull his wisdom tooth (it's the only thing holding his jaw together) and then they are gonna hope his jaw doesn't break in half. IF so so they are gonna have to wire it from the outside of his jaw, if it stays together, they are gonna just use pins and stuff to hold it together. Anyway, he's got very limited stuff he can do now. It sucks. I love him a lot and I worry about him, and I can't even see him. Cause he's been out at his mom's and I'm not allowed on the property =( *Sigh* I miss him. I just wanna see him, yah know? He called me a few times today, although it hurts for him to talk. So.. Anyway, I'm gonna try to get some sleep.. maybe tomorrow I'll get to see him. Actually he might be getting on irc in a bit.. said he'd try to use his aunt's computer so he can talk to me. Later.
Thursday, 7-10-97
Well, Chris had his surgery on the 8th... and it lasted for two hours. His mom brought him over here to see me for a couple of minutes after wards.. He looked so bad.. I felt so sorry for him. =I You could tell he was in a lot of pain.. Poor thing. Then he tried calling me twice that night, and asked his mom if i could come out. She said no, but maybe the next day! So then, yesterday, (wednesday) she called me and woke me up, and said "Get ready, I'll be there in 5 minutes." So i jumped up and got dressed real fast, and ran outside. I went out there, Chris didn't even know I was coming out. And I got to spend the day with him. It was great =) about 10 hours =) *Smile* Although I still feel really bad for him, and it's obvious he's in a lot of pain. Kurt, Steve, Chet, and Kelly stopped by while I was out there for a few. I guess Steve and Jenifer broke up. But when I talked to Chet today, he
said last night Steve and Jenifer were kissing, so it seems they are back together. *Shrug* Who knows. Anyway, today I haven't done all that much. Slept most of the day. Talked to Chris only once. I hope i get to see him again soon though. I really love him a lot.. =) And my mom just said I won't have access to the computer for a couple of days... Over the weekend I guess. Suckz.. :p erm.. no, she just said tomorrow.. ;p *Sigh* Damn parents.. ;)
Friday, 7-25-97
Well I know I haven't written in a long time, but that's
because my mom decided to refinish our dining room and living room floors, and clean the whole dang house because her biker friends are coming in town. So far
David and "Ghost" are here. *Sigh* My house is going to be crazy when the rest of them get here. The carnival is in town, and Chris is working at it. I've gone up there every day except today. I don't know if I can get any money or a ride today =( It sucks. I really want to go too. :/ Anyway, things are about the same as always.. went to the lake a couple of days ago with Dan, Rhiannon, Brandy, Bill, Chad, Brad, Steve, Chet, and Jack. It was kinda boring but kinda fun. And I've seen a lot of friends at the carnival. And I've been spending time with Jennifer, and I saw Jenny the other day too. And Mandy.. mandy rocks =) Anyway, that *weekend* with no computer access lasted a *lot* longer, obviously.. ;p Let's see, Jenifer and Steve broke up, and Steve is going out with Shannon. Um... I can't really think of much to say actually. It's been too long to remember everything that happened. My birthday was on the 16th, so I'm 17 now. It was pretty boring. Well, I guess I'll write more later. Ihave nothing to say ;p
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